Defining Your Own Stages Of Life

My heart is quite heavy at the moment, as I learned of the death of the wife of Popeye (Down The Rabbit Hole) a short time ago*. She had a severe asthma attack a few days ago and it was hoped that she would pull through. If there is any salve for his pain at this moment, I would be truly blown away. To say that my heart goes out to him is an understatement, and I have joked in the past that it sounds cliche/trite.

*Update from Truth Frequency Radio that Popeye had posted to his page. I do not know how I missed it. His wife has been pronounced brain dead. He has to decide when to take her off of life support.

Popeye is someone I consider to be a good friend that I have never met and he has been an incredible warrior for truth and justice. He is brave and courageous and may it see him through.

He just moved hundreds of miles from where he was living and he was still getting unpacked and set up in his new place. He could use our help right now with funeral expenses. You will find the Donate to Federal Jack . Com button on the right. Thanks.


One of my first thoughts after hearing the news is the level of dissociation/disconnection I have had any time that I lost someone close. Everything changes when we fall in love and everything changes when we lose. “Life for him”, I thought, “will now be perceived as life before he lost his wife and life after”.

This is assumptions and projections on my part, so let me speak for myself.

There is plenty out there on the topics of the stages of life and I am not disregarding it, but most of the time I do not think about being in a stage of life with a developmental task to be conquered. I am a human and humans like to tell stories. I may have been struggling with shame vs. whatever, but how it feels/felt seems far more important, in terms of lasting impact and how I regard my past in the struggle to move forward.

No matter the stage of my life, or development, I remember things in terms of the people and events, good or bad. I certainly have tasks to master, but that is, as noted, seldom on my conscious mind.

Stages Of My Life

1. There was life before my first boyfriend and learning what my dick was for  (puberty), then life after

2. There was life before I was raped by a woman for five years, then life after

3. There was life before I came out, then life after

4. There was life before I moved away from where I grew up, then life after

5. There was life before college, then life after

6. There was life before my mother, then life after

7. There was life before Dan, then life after

8. There was life before my neck broke and Donna Summer died, then life after

9. There was life before my heart attack, then life after, which is where you find me: stuck, or strategically dislocated until fit for work?

I suppose I could add a new chapter with the puppy bouncing his way in to my life.

During the madness following the death of Joan Rivers, her comment about how life changes stuck in my head. It took me back to my 20s, when I was dating someone who took me to see his grandmother, who lived at a retirement community.

Young and detached and just wanting to get back to what young men do, I had no answers for her when she spoke of her previous life, the loss of her husband, and how everything had changed. She added, “I guess this is just another stage of my life”. In essence, she was saying that we come in to this world alone and we leave alone and from our point of view, everything is happening from our point of view, and that can shift, dramatically and quickly.

That stuck with me, because to this day, I wish I would have slowed down a bit and given her more time and been a wonderful part of her new life, if only for an afternoon, because how we go on to live, love and laugh is one of the challenges that comes with the human condition.